Husband Braves Icy Road and Freezing Temperatures To Get His Wife the ‘Christmas Present Of Her Dreams’
While weather services alerted citizens to stay at home today, this Nashville man was determined to surprise his wife with a gift she would actually enjoy.
NASHVILLE, TN — A local man scrambled to get dressed early Friday-morning, careful not to wake his wife or their 8 children. His plan: sneak out of the house to get his wife the “Christmas present of her dreams,” (he listened very closely this year).
As he anxiously crept down the stairs, he was met with ice-covered windows and a noticeable chill in the air. He checked the weather app on his phone only to discover it was currently colder in Tennessee than it was in Antarctica.
Still determined to find his wife a banger of a gift, he bundled himself up and walked out the door into a freezing hell-scape.
The man started the engine of what is essentially a church van from atop the hill on which their home sits.
At this point in time, he said what used to feel like living on a small hill with picturesque views of the Nashville skyline now felt like a treacherous cliffface on the side of the Himalayas. Undeterred, he began to drive down the hill inch-by-inch like a stop motion film about the migratory patterns of sloths.
“I was going slow as molasses down that hill. I knew it wasn’t gonna be easy to get to the bottom in one piece,” the man recalled, “but to tell the truth all I could think about was, ‘how in the world am I gonna manage to get back up?’”
He said he pumped his brakes and did his best to “fight gravity,” but eventually the lack of four-wheel drive and the ice-covered road resulted in an easily predictable outcome for basically everyone not from Nashville:
"After I felt the tires lose traction with the road I knew I was in for it, but I wasn’t going down without a fight. I yanked the parking brake and pulled the wheel as fast as I could— I thought it was my best shot. Then shit really hit the fan.”
“The van whizzed around and around on the ice like Nancy Kerrigan going for gold. And then Tonya Harding appeared in the form of an 80-year-old white oak tree, ready to end my entire career.”
The man was able to exit the scene of the crash without any injuries, but unfortunately the church van was totaled.
He walked back up to his home, falling several times along the way.
He reportedly ordered a new family van online saying, “She’s getting a van this year, and I think she’s actually really gonna like it.”
The new 11-seater van isn’t scheduled to arrive until Easter, but he’s confident his wife won’t mind, “It all worked out in the best way possible. Now I’ve got gifts covered for this Sunday and Resurrection Sunday! God is so good!”
Be safe during your holiday travels this season. I pray this time brings a thankful heart, reflection, and great times for you and your loved ones. Merry Christmas y’all!
