Florida Governor Ron Desantis Has A ‘Major Announcement’
Following his Inauguration ceremony, Desantis holds a press conference to cement his place in American Politics.
Tallahassee, FL — Today marked the second inauguration of Florida’s governor, Ron Desantis.
After renewing his oath to the people of Florida, Desantis wanted the attention of the entire nation and announced that he had a “major announcement”… to announce.
Almost immediately, sources speculated that he was finally ready to announce his campaign for president.
At the press conference, he spoke about the difficult road ahead and called on the American people to rise up to the standard set by the Founding Fathers.
He also made allusions to the recent, suspected rift between himself and former president Donald Trump saying, “before Election Day even commenced, a man I supported throughout his presidency, began throwing jabs at my career and my ability to serve the people who elected me.”
Supporters at the press conference erupted with cheers of ‘2024’ and ‘we love you.’
Just as it seemed he was about to make a huge announcement, he unveiled a line of ‘Top Gov’ NFTs in which he is depicted as a futuristic Air Force pilot.
After the announcement, grumbles from supporters of former president Trump could be heard in the audience asking, “who does he think he is?”
The Desantis NFTs come on the back of former president Donald Trump’s limited quantity of ‘digital trading cards,’ in which he was depicted as a super-hero who hadn’t devoted his life to McDonald’s and Diet Coke.
The governor closed his press conference by saying, “an investment opportunity like this only comes around once in a decade, if you’re lucky.”
Sources close to Trump say he watched the press conference and was very ‘unhappy’ with Desantis's announcement.
He then, reportedly, commented that the governor couldn’t fly faster than him and that the American people love Superman more than they love Maverick.
In a recent bipartisan poll, 15% of likely voters said that they were more willing to vote for a candidate with ‘sick NFTs,’ while 80% said that they wanted a candidate committed to tackling ‘real issues’ affecting the working-class.
The remaining 5% of respondents said they were happy with the Biden Administration and wanted him to ‘not change a thing.’
Suffice it to say, 2023 is shaping up to be a pretty average year in the American political arena.
